Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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