I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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