He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
