shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
