We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's always time for handjobs
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
