Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
