Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
