Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize