i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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