Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
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I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
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Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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