Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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