I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
