He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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