): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
