I'm really into asian looking animals
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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