just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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