All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hippo gnu deer
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
