oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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