Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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