The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
