we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize