I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize