rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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