Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize