About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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