you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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