thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
