I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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