its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
