i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
