i permit you to call me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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