Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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