covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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