dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
