I can tuck mytits in my pants
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
In America we eat man semen.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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