Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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