You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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