sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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