I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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