you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
