Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
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Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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