Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
