Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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