Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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