Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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  (215): Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less http://tfl.nu/o2ix
  Replies (25) Good night (447) Bad night (873)
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  (631): View more from New York

  peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

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  (631): peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york http://tfl.nu/xd1t
  Replies (13) Good night (2846) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....

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  (503): Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby.... http://tfl.nu/qo4n
  Replies (11) Good night (2850) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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  (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5
  Replies (17) Good night (891) Bad night (3919)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.

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  (479): I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle. http://tfl.nu/61o1
  Replies (18) Good night (905) Bad night (7586) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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  (206): and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/jfbz
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (2514) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It would be one hovered percent delicioui

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  (815): It would be one hovered percent delicioui http://tfl.nu/wb9b
  Replies (6) Good night (1613) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment

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  (818): Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/eaeq
  Replies (8) Good night (3245) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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  (570): He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/9z6q
  Replies (18) Good night (4140) Bad night (844)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!

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  (862): I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands! http://tfl.nu/blis
  Replies (33) Good night (6159) Bad night (1094)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  You did this to yourself.

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  (989): I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation. (1-989): You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/o89r
  Replies (11) Good night (1502) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge

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  (774): I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge http://tfl.nu/5u98
  Replies (6) Good night (1031) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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  (717): my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping http://tfl.nu/xy2e
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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  (252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (456)
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  (607): View more from New York

  U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

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  (607): U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl http://tfl.nu/xeyc
  Replies (9) Good night (225) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt

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