D3 body, D1 cock
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
