But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
