put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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