So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize