Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
