And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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