Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize