I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
