Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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