So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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