He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
