if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
