he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize