Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
