OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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