you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
