We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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